No Stars Tonight

As black as my heart,
When you don’t speak to me,
Cut me off from you,
as though severing at those tendons which hold me to you
with the bluntest blade

How I long to be in your arms, safe and warm,
looking up into your eyes,
There I can see in their green depths
a love as overwhelming
as the beauty of sunset
on a calm sea.

The sand curls beneath my toes,
Getting colder now,
The sun has set,
The night is as black as my heart,
There are no stars tonight.

Who lives forever anyway?

Everything’s good,
Everything’s fine,
Then why do I feel my heart breaking?
This small heart of mine.

Happy faces,
Time ‘s passing fast,
What nostalgia becomes me
as I gaze at the past.

Small grains of sand,
trickling through your fingers,
slipping from your hands,
no matter how hard you hold on to them,
they’re gone.

And with every grain of sand
a tear falls,
for a time which will never return,
A time you want to hold forever…
but who lives forever anyway?

Do you think of me too?

I think of you
over and over
and wonder if you think of me.
Can we stay like this forever?

I smile.
My heart swells and fills
with so much emotion,
Why must I insist to still?

Kill all feelings,
push away your love,
What am i doing?
Can I not love?

It cannot be,
don't I feel my heart soar?
Higher and higher,
just wanting more.

But I push away, away,
close it all in a box,
padlock it tight,
ignore all the knocks.

The key is falling
down a bottomless pit
since when i first threw it,
When with love i was first hit.

Is that love?

A pair of deep brown eyes
gaze on,
Usually filled with mockery and amusement,
But which on a glance fill with tenderness and warmth
and is that love?

Eyes that say I'm waiting,
will wait forever.
Eyes that respect,
keep their distance,
but want and long for more.

What is it that keeps me back?
Makes me try to chill those eyes,
make them cold and indifferent.
What am i afraid of?

Melancholic Thoughts

Among my musings there is a memory of what I once was.
A feeling of freedom,
of joy at everything I do,
a peace,
a sureness,
a wind beneath my wings.

And now everyday bears a thunder cloud,
my companions bear faces etched with worry,
and a tantalizing ray of light
breaks through in the
far distance,
barely visible.

The wind no longer beneath me,
but a barrier,
a wall of resistance…
My wings are broken.

Hand of Ice

A cold icy hand penetrates your skin
White as death
Bones as visible as the thick blue veins
Scrawling like spider-webs
beneath a translucent skin.

A slight, sickening, pulsating movement
in the stick-like wrist
indicates a sad and withering life,
not the hand of death
but the hand of misery.

It grasps your heart,
the hard, frozen bones caressing
the warm muscle,
chilling it,
Filling it with sorrow and despair.

The beating slows to a monotonous drone,
A lifeless tick
resounding alone
in a body once warm.

The Storm

Thunder rages
Wind blows
Rain lashes
Trees sway

Mind rages
Thoughts blow
Pain lashes
Heart sways

Secluded, protected
from the storm
churning life
beyond my window.

Vulnerable to the
storm in my mind.
Victim of the feelings
of a lonely heart.

So long ago, So sudden

A deep longing overcomes you,
a melancholic tune which
repeats itself in your head.

A desire so powerful,
infinite,
dark as a black well,
a black tunnel
with a pinprick of light.

That tiny star reflected
in your eyes;
an abyss of despair.

The star remains thus,
finer than the tip of a needle,
just enough to keep one strongly within it’s grasp,
trudging blindly in the dark,
stumbling forward,
in hope of embracing it.

Yet a point of light it shall ever be,
a symbol of continuous failure,
past,
present,
and forever more.

NUMB

My heart bleeds,
Split open,
Hard pulsations
inducing cataclysms
of fresh
dark red
life to spurt out.

Drowning,
drowning in red.
Feel numb,
Can’t feel,
Don’t want to feel
Pull out the last bits of that miserable heart.

Turn to stone,
I stand alone.

NEW HOPE

A phoneix song
New hope
From the ashes it shall arise
Sweet as honey
Filling every particle of your brain

It shimmers like a spectrum of pure gold
A light that fills your mind with all things pleasing
All that is good
The beautiful
The young

And the sweet sound of a music
so pure
it seems to rise from the very particles you breathe
and fill your heart with
a soaring sensation

and you sing too
with the phoenix song
your spirit rises up

new hope

The Story of a Broken Heart

When your heart Is full of one unimaginable hope
Which is then smashed at your feet,
Your heart is no more,
You feel you can’t cope.

At the end of therope
The shattered bits of your heart cry out in agony
As your heart-beat stills
In your last surrender

Gone, but still there

Just one night,
stars twinkling bright.
My heart turns over as you come towards me
a single red rose in your hand.

One blood-red petal falls
and floats on the gleaming river,
A tear in the night.

You walk away,
the thorns of the rose still imprinted in your hands
As with clouded eyes I watch that single petal
sink,
gone forever,
like your love.

The cold breeze lifts my hair,
The warm tears go cold and dry there in place
My head raised, defiant,
I walk in the opposite direction,
The moonlight illuminating that last trail
of a tear gone but which will remain forever.