Nothing

How can I just watch you walk away?

Another girl by your side,

Another's kiss on you lips.

Our future seemingly defined:

Yours determined and sure,

Mine sad and bleak and cold.

A heart that was made to love,

and in love was torn

and betrayed.

My own words used against me,

and as her blue eyes fill with happiness,

my brown is clouded.

If eyes are the mirror to one's soul,

then don't look here

for you'll see nothing there.

No Stars Tonight

As black as my heart,
When you don’t speak to me,
Cut me off from you,
as though severing at those tendons which hold me to you
with the bluntest blade

How I long to be in your arms, safe and warm,
looking up into your eyes,
There I can see in their green depths
a love as overwhelming
as the beauty of sunset
on a calm sea.

The sand curls beneath my toes,
Getting colder now,
The sun has set,
The night is as black as my heart,
There are no stars tonight.

Who lives forever anyway?

Everything’s good,
Everything’s fine,
Then why do I feel my heart breaking?
This small heart of mine.

Happy faces,
Time ‘s passing fast,
What nostalgia becomes me
as I gaze at the past.

Small grains of sand,
trickling through your fingers,
slipping from your hands,
no matter how hard you hold on to them,
they’re gone.

And with every grain of sand
a tear falls,
for a time which will never return,
A time you want to hold forever…
but who lives forever anyway?

Do you think of me too?

I think of you
over and over
and wonder if you think of me.
Can we stay like this forever?

I smile.
My heart swells and fills
with so much emotion,
Why must I insist to still?

Kill all feelings,
push away your love,
What am i doing?
Can I not love?

It cannot be,
don't I feel my heart soar?
Higher and higher,
just wanting more.

But I push away, away,
close it all in a box,
padlock it tight,
ignore all the knocks.

The key is falling
down a bottomless pit
since when i first threw it,
When with love i was first hit.

Is that love?

A pair of deep brown eyes
gaze on,
Usually filled with mockery and amusement,
But which on a glance fill with tenderness and warmth
and is that love?

Eyes that say I'm waiting,
will wait forever.
Eyes that respect,
keep their distance,
but want and long for more.

What is it that keeps me back?
Makes me try to chill those eyes,
make them cold and indifferent.
What am i afraid of?

Melancholic Thoughts

Among my musings there is a memory of what I once was.
A feeling of freedom,
of joy at everything I do,
a peace,
a sureness,
a wind beneath my wings.

And now everyday bears a thunder cloud,
my companions bear faces etched with worry,
and a tantalizing ray of light
breaks through in the
far distance,
barely visible.

The wind no longer beneath me,
but a barrier,
a wall of resistance…
My wings are broken.

Hand of Ice

A cold icy hand penetrates your skin
White as death
Bones as visible as the thick blue veins
Scrawling like spider-webs
beneath a translucent skin.

A slight, sickening, pulsating movement
in the stick-like wrist
indicates a sad and withering life,
not the hand of death
but the hand of misery.

It grasps your heart,
the hard, frozen bones caressing
the warm muscle,
chilling it,
Filling it with sorrow and despair.

The beating slows to a monotonous drone,
A lifeless tick
resounding alone
in a body once warm.